I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My feet surprised me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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