eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dicks are not precious.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
