Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
