in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize