So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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