I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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