I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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