Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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