Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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