i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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