i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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