In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my shit smells like andre
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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