I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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