i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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