Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
