My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
