I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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