I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
