well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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