Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
