I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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