what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
