there was a trapeze. enough said
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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