Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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