the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
