there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
