9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
