you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
