My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
