i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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