This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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