I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
