he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
