I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
