i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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