Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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