i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
