Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
