Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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