I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
