shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
