Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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