we're blogging at a bar
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
