I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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