Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
