So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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