Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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