thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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