You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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