someone threw a dead crab at me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
