drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
