He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
