did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
