I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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