At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
