Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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