I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
