i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
