Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The Olympian is in my bed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
