So drunk its hurt
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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